Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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