One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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