Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
