I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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