Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
