I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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