"it" just moved
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We have started to decorate penises.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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