in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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