i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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