I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
