i just had sex bonerless
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
