So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
