You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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