It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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