Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
