did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
