Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
