Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
