I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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