Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
