love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
