when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
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