someone get that fucking seahorse.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
