Yo dont text me then not text me
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
