My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
