I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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