none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
