If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
