Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
