I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
