I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
