I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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