i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
