so that wasnt chicken after all
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Randomize
