Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
