....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
