The brown eye won't let me do that either.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
