The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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