he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
