Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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