Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
bring money and cleavage
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
