Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
