i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
