I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I wanna passion pit in your ass
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
