Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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