Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
