i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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