I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
