He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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