My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
