I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
