yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
