goodnight i made you a song goodbye
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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