? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
