THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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