I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
farters have to be the big spoon...
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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