i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I am midnight drunk by noon
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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