the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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