a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
