There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
