I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
