Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
