Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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