She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
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