Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
i've created a new STD.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
