Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
i think i just lost a toe
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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