3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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