Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
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