I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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